Rise to find the sun...

Routine

2012-01-10T19:29:00.003-05:00

We are back into our routine now that Christmas break has ended- but I hope that doesn't mean I get too caught up with the day-to-day and forget the joy I felt during this Christmas season. Today in my devotional I was reminded that just because the holiday is over...the joy about the birth of baby Jesus should never diminish. This verse reminds me that it is in our everyday life when we connect with our Savior, not just at Christmas!

God takes us to the mountaintop where he shows us great miracles and wonders, but he doesn’t leave us there. It is in the fields and among the flocks that our faith grows, nurtured in the soil of the day-to-day, the mundane. This is where we die to Christ, allowing his life to blossom within us (Galatians 2:20).

Here is one photo I found from our holiday celebrations that I wanted to include in my blog- this is me and Callie with my Grandpa Beasley!

Last weekend we went to the ND vs. Loogootee game to watch Uncle Clay coach. Jessica and Lauren made matching outfits for Callie and Dailee- complete with orange and black tutus! So cute!!

Today Callie turned 5 months old and rolled over for the 1st time!! It happened at Trinia's - and she said it scared Callie! She was on her back, and after she rolled to her belly she puckered up and started to cry! Poor baby...it scared her! Hopefully we will get to see her do it soon!

Christmas 2011

2011-12-31T17:05:00.003-05:00

We had another fabulous Christmas with family and friends...I just love this time of year:) Callie had a pretty bad cold - but we managed to make it thru all the parties and festivities! Max was very excited about all his gifts, but Callie (4 mo.) is still a little young to open her gifts. Here are a few photos from Christmas 2011:

My little sweetheart in her new winter coat and hat...

My niece, AunaRay, in her Mrs. Claus outfit...

Christmas eve at Uncle Clay's new house...

My grandpa Raber opening his dirty Santa gift...

Our house on Christmas eve....

Max opening gifts on Christmas morning...

Callie with her gifts on Christmas morning...

Max and his Uncle Cole figuring out one of his gifts...

My mom and dad on Christmas morning....

The new babies with their mommies and their great grandparents...

Callie on Christmas night with her great grandpa Paulus....

Tonight is New Year's Eve and we are having a little get together with food and sparkling grape juice:) I will get to ring in the new year with my hubby and my two sweet kiddos...which is more than I could ever ask for!! Thank you God for our blessings this year, we appreciate each and every one! Happy New Year everyone!!

School Christmas party!

2011-12-26T17:03:00.000-05:00

Last week I was lucky enough to visit Max at school and help with his kindergarten Christmas party! I loved getting to see him in the classroom environment, interacting with the other kids...when I got there they were playing a Christmas themed charades game - so cute!!
Then it was time for presents - poor Mrs. Wagler had been driven CRAZY about the presents all day long by the whole class!! Max was super excited to receive a remote control motorcycle...

After presents the kids ate their snacks, and before we knew it - it was time to head home!

Max absolutely LOVES school, his teacher, and all his classmates! I'm so proud of how well he has done this year...and now it's time for Christmas break!

Christmas season...

2011-12-20T20:35:00.003-05:00

December is CRAZY...and I love it!!! Everyone in our house has had both the stomach flu and the cold flu...the kids have sat on Santa's lap...we've watched Uncle Clay coach the JV Cougars several times...my cousin had her baby girl and named her Gracie...we decorated for Christmas and attended several parties...and tomorrow I get to visit Max's kindergarten class to help during his Christmas party!!

Gabe's Grandpa and Grandma Paulus with all the new babies in the family!!

My little girl in her Santa gear...

My two sweethearts...

Santa time:)

Smiling beauty!!

Chas with sweet baby Gracie!!

Callie with Great Grandpa Paulus...

and Great Grandpa Raber...

Max with his cousin Lincoln

What a silly crew! Callie, my mom, Hannah, and Max...

What I want most is to be able to convey the true WONDER of this Christmas season. To make sure my children understand the significance of this tiny baby being born who would change everything for you and me...who would bring us HOPE and ensure our eternity. I've really been downplaying the whole Santa thing - not that I think it's bad or anything...I just want Santa to pale in comparison to what Christmas is really about!! Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!!!!

Sickly...

2011-12-05T12:08:00.001-05:00

I'm sick.
Ughhh....
The stomach flu is making the rounds at our house and it's my turn to step up to the plate.

Christmas decorating and shopping are in full swing, and I only have a few more gifts to purchase until I'm completely done! I did almost all my shopping online this year - and it was SO EASY!! I love to look and look for the perfect present for everyone I love - this time of year is just so joyful:)! Getting my nativity scene out each year is one of the most special moments - and I love talking about Jesus's birthday with Max!! Soon we will get to teach Callie all about it!

We had such a wonderful Thanksgiving with family - I have more to be thankful for then I could ever mention, but we really spent the holiday being thankful and enjoying each other and extended family. This was one of the first years that our holiday dinners were pretty spread out, so we had time to relax and enjoy each party/dinner. It was sooooo nice!

Here are a few photos from November - I know I'm so behind on blogging so this might take awhile:)!

Max and Callie

Callie all decked our for her first Thanksgiving

Max celebrating his birthday with the Beasley family

(with his great-uncle Jeff & great-aunt Peg)

Beasley babies - Me with Callie, Jessica with Dailee, and Chas is due with baby Gracie in a couple of days!!

Callie with her cousin AunaRay Wagler (Alicia & Derek's daughter)

December is here - hope everyone is having a wonderful time getting geared up for Christmas!

The Big 6

2011-11-09T20:09:00.002-05:00

Today is Max's 6th birthday. It's amazing to me that this little man has been in my life for 6 years...and he has matured so much in the past year that it sometimes takes my breathe away...

Like when he reads me a book he made at school.
Or he helps me with his baby sister.
When he dresses himself in the morning for school and ties his own shoes.
And when I suggested a party for some of his closest friends and he started making a guest list on his own...with party activities listed, too:)!

Last weekend we had a party for Max complete with Max & 5 buddies, pizza, cake, pinata, play dough for the boys to take home, a fire to make smores, and lots of rough outdoor playtime:) It was perfect for Max and by the end of the night he was dragging...so tired, but not ready to admit it! He received some great gifts from his friends and everyone had a great time - with only a little mischief here and there! Here are some photos I took that night.

Goofing off...silly boys!

Getting ready for pinata fun:)!!

The aftermath of the pinata...

Campfire for a chilly night!

Everyone playing on Max's birthday present...a new swingset!!

After 3 hours of playing army and tackle football...eating until they couldn't eat anymore...and running their little legs off, it was time for everyone to go home and it was BEDTIME for us:)!! But Max had the time of his life!

Catching up...

2011-11-04T20:17:00.001-04:00

I've got some catching up to do...there have been some major events happening around here and I wanted to blog about some of them...
Last month Gabe's sister, Alicia had a sweet baby girl! We were so excited to welcome AunaRay into the family - she is a sweetheart and Mommy and Daddy are so proud (as they should be!!)

Callie and AunaRay...can you tell their hair is almost identical? Sweet cousins!

Last weekend we had a baby shower for my cousin Chasity, who is expecting a little girl in early December...we are anxiously anticipating baby Gracie's arrival!! All of these little girls joining the family - wow!! It's completely crazy and we love every minute of it!! Yay for baby girls!

We had some super sweet trick-or-treaters on Halloween night - we just stayed home and passed out candy!

Two super-sweet ladybugs...

And an M&M (posing with Zoomie, our cat)...

We have had a busy month - and tomorrow Max is having several of his little buddies over for his birthday party...my baby turns 6 in just a few days!! He's extremely excited about his party and we have some fun things planned - I will blog about it in a few days:)

Sandy Clarke Photography

2011-11-02T11:09:00.002-04:00

Please go to Sandy's Blog to find out all about the awesome giveaway she is hosting!! She is an amazing photographer with so much talent- check her out and like her page on Facebook, too! Thanks everyone!

Home

2011-10-28T20:04:00.001-04:00

So... things are good here. How could life not be good when I get to come home to this face:

And this one...

I mean really? Don't get me wrong...my life is NOT perfect. Far from it. But in between the burnt dinners, the dirty dishes, the floors that need mopped, the poopy diapers and endless laundry - I get to love on these two. And they love me back without reservation. They grin at me and I melt. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Max is growing leaps and bounds since starting school - I can't believe how fast he is catching on to reading and writing sentences. Each night he spends several hours just writing and drawing...tonight he drew a picture and then was super excited to show Gabe and I. Here it is:

This is how he explained it to me..."Mom, there you are. And there is Dad (Gabe) and there is something really special for Gabe. I drew two apple trees that he planted. Then I put the date, Oct. 28th 2011 at the top."

Sigh...oh how I love this kid! He amazes me everyday.

Ok, I'm gonna go now, so I can get back to this:

A Great Photo Opportunity??

2011-10-16T08:50:00.004-04:00

Not

Gonna

Happen...

Lark Ranch

2011-10-08T18:05:00.000-04:00

Last night we headed to the Lark Ranch for some family fun - it really is a nice place that has something fun for everyone. Max didn't want to leave after we had been there for several hours...his favorite part was racing Gabe on the pedal go carts! Maybe a Christmas present idea:)

He was a little freaked out about the corn maze, because Gabe kept teasing him that we might not be able to find our way out and have to spend the night in the corn!

They had a huge slide that Max loved and it was super-slippery...

Callie even had a good time-she loves being outside and watching her big brother!

The weather was gorgeous...we all enjoyed the sunshine! I think it was a very successful trip:)

September

2011-10-04T15:34:00.002-04:00

When September rolls around we are always excited for the birthday party of our September sweeties - Braylee & Brynna! This year Callie got to experience one of their parties for the first time, and we all had such a great time! It was a hula themed party - and the kids were all decked out:

Max and Gabe - these two really stuck together since they were practically the only boys at the party!

Callie met a new friend, Liam - they were only born a couple weeks apart so it was interesting to see them interact!

Here is the whole gang with their coconut cups - what a hit!!

The next weekend was pretty laidback after so much partying the weekend before! Here are Gabe and Uncle Clay planting a new tree in our backyard. They spent all afternoon planting trees on the "Raber farm." Clay even planted a few around his new house...it will be ready so soon - they are still working on painting the upstairs, and then read for cabinets and flooring! We are so excited to have Uncle Clay living just up the hill from us! Max has already ran (literally ran) up to his house several times.

While the men worked outside, Max played in his own little imaginary world in the living room while Callie snuck in a little nap. Ahhhh....life is so sweet.

Complete...

2011-09-21T17:26:00.001-04:00

Our life as a family of four is finally settling down and starting to feel "normal." Miss Callie has added so much excitement around here, and we have all fallen completely in love with her. She's a super sweet baby...and our family seems complete now that she is here.

To say that it will be incredibly hard to return to work this next Monday would be an understatement. I have been cherishing every moment at home with my baby girl...we snuggle up to each other most of the day - we have such a great schedule going with eating, sleeping, and changing diapers. Just thinking about missing those moments throughout each day is really so hard for my heart. I could just sit and stare at her all day long...but that doesn't help me earn any money to pay for our home or all her itty-bitty clothes - so I guess it's time to head back to work. But it will be hard. Super, super hard.

We hosted a family party last Sunday at our house and had such a wonderful day - we ate lots of food (I'm NEVER gonna lose this baby weight) and just caught up with everyone's lives! We also learned that my aunt Cindy (my mom's sister) is moving back home after being away for several years! We are all excited and my mom is on cloud nine! Here is Aunt Cindy with Max and Callie:

My mom is so proud - she dressed Callie and picked out her bow:) Also - here is a photo of the baby boom going on in our family - Jessica has baby Dailee who is exactly 3 mo. older than Callie, then me and Callie (at 1 mo.) and Chas is expecting a baby girl in December. We hope they grow up to be the best of friends!

Tera and her girls came to visit us on Wed. evening and I always enjoy getting to spend any amount of time with my best friend. We always pick right back up from where we left off and our kids love playing together! We don't see each other enough - but when we do I remember why I love them all so very much:)!!

2011-09-06T12:08:00.003-04:00

Here are a couple photos we snapped before church on Sunday - it was Callie's 2nd time at church. The white dress looked so adorable on her, but halfway thru church I was changing her diaper in the bathroom and she ended up peeing ALL over her white dress...it was sopping wet:( Of course Mommy had forgotten to put an extra outfit in the diaper bag - so I wrapped her up in a blanket and we all had to head home!

Lesson learned!

Callie's photo shoot

2011-08-27T20:43:00.005-04:00

Callie and I had a little photo shoot the other day...she's stolen my

heart:)

Ok Mom, enough pictures! I'm getting tired here!

Teddy

2011-08-19T14:19:00.004-04:00

The first night we were home with Callie she was sleeping peacefully in her bassinet - and I noticed Max run to his room and run back out to put something in the bassinet beside his sister. Quietly I hear him whisper to her "Do you want my teddy?" Here is what I found:

P.S. Max has slept with this teddy every night since he was a baby.

Nursery

2011-08-18T17:23:00.005-04:00

I wanted to put some pictures of Callie's nursery - we've worked hard to make it extra special for our little girl:)

I ordered the quilt from easy.com and the pillows are from yard sales & the biggest one from T.J. Max.

Max and I made the butterfly canvas' on the wall:)

Kindergarten stud...

2011-08-18T15:08:00.005-04:00

My little man is becoming a big man...and on Tuesday he started Kindergarten. When he got home he said "IT WAS AWESOME!" That's what I love to hear!

His teacher's name is Mrs. Wagler and they made fruit salad on the very first day for a snack. Now that sounds like my sort of teacher:) Uncle Clay is picking him up and bringing him home each day from school while I'm on maternity leave. I can't say enough about my brother's amazing heart - he loves Max so much and has his back no matter what. Halfway thru the first day I got a text message from him that said he saw Max at lunch and everything was going great. He is just so thoughtful, so kind, and never stops giving to others. Max is super lucky to have him as an uncle!

Max's favorites at the start of Kindergarten:

Color: Orange

Food: Pizza or spaghetti

Sport: Basketball

Toy: Legos

TV show: iCarly or Phineas & Ferb

Team: Cougar Basketball

Insect: Butterfly

Book series: Bearenstein Bears

Past time: Taking a ride on the Polaris Ranger

He's growing up so fast - love you, my sweet boy!

Introducing Miss Callie...

2011-08-18T11:06:00.004-04:00

The day finally came to meet Miss Callie - Aug. 10th, 2011.

We headed to the hospital at 7 am and began induction at around 9 am (since the hospital was having a major baby boom and was incredibly busy)! Soon it came time to break my water and progress was slow but steady. At around 3 p.m. they checked me and I was 7 cm dilated, but the baby was face up and her heart rate had went down slightly - so they wanted me to turn over to my right side and see if that made a difference. About 10 min. later I told Gabe that I was feeling the urge to push - and the nurses came in at the same moment. They had noticed from the monitor that the baby had flipped to the right position - and when they checked me I was 10 cm and ready to push! After 20 min. of pushing - Miss Callie Catherine arrived perfect and healthy!

After getting the room cleaned up and wrapping the baby in a blanket and the signature pink hat, the nurses let Max and my parents come in to meet Callie. Max was very hesitant seeing me in the hospital bed and just not sure about the whole situation. When I asked him if he wanted to hold his baby sister, he bluntly told me "I'm not holding her until she has a bath!"

Since returning home, we have all settled in and Max has adjusted wonderfully! We have had visitors in and out nonstop and some wonderful family and friends spoiling us with dinners and desserts. Callie sleeps all day and is up most of the night - but we are all on cloud nine to have a healthy little girl at home and don't even care about the lack of sleep:)

At morning light...

2011-08-09T20:20:00.002-04:00

At morning light...things will begin to change for our family.

Dear Callie Catherine,

As I sit here writing to you, I'm watching my belly move in a crazy, unnatural way that I've become accustomed to. These past 9 months have been very up and down for me - my moods always changing and my body betraying me on a daily basis. This pregnancy has been very different from the one I experienced with your big brother - and I'm excited to discover the small differences in your personalities and looks.

Tomorrow I will finally meet you - I will finally get to touch your soft, sweet skin. It's a moment I have waited for since the second me and your daddy starting dreaming about you. And although I have a long day ahead of me and nerves are running high - I also know that the moment you arrive will make every single struggle and pain worth it and more.

What I hope and pray for you is a heart full of hope and faith. I want to give you all the paths to happiness and allow you to be yourself, who God created you to be. And I can't wait to see just who that is! I hope that you have the sweet nature and honest, open heart of your great-grandmother, who you were named after. I hope I will see the same innocence in your eyes as your brother's. Will you not be able to say no to anyone, like your daddy? And what will I find in you that connects you to me?

Tomorrow, my love...tomorrow we will see.

And until then I am praying for you...and hoping for you...and envisioning our life as a family of four!

Down to days...

2011-08-01T09:49:00.005-04:00

We are down to days as far as meeting our little miss. Max has been learning about and practicing how to take care of our new baby...Although this change in our lives will be an unbelieveable blessing...all change is hard to adjust to at first and difficult for little ones to wrap their minds around. Max is thinking and processing everything that will change - here is part of the conversation we already had this morning:

Max: When Callie comes will she have a stepdad?

Me: No, I will be her mom and Gabe will be her dad - but she won't have a stepdad like you have.

Max: Will Callie's last name be Swartzentruber?

Me: Yes, she will be a Swartzentruber.

Max: So I will be the only person in the house with the last name Toy?

Please be praying for all the transitions that will need to be made in the next few weeks. Specifically pray for Max - that he never feels "left out" or not an important part of this family. I am praying for clarity on how to make our blended family the very best it can be for everyone involved. Thanks so much, everyone!

Sweet baby...

2011-07-16T21:21:00.002-04:00

I've been snuggling on this sweet baby girl in preparation of having my own - she's such a sweetie and a blessing to our whole family! She will be my little girl's second cousin...

Nursery

2011-07-13T13:35:00.003-04:00

Our little family has been hard at work, preparing a nursery for the sweet little one we are expecting.

With only 5 weeks until she arrives, we have been getting used to the idea of moving from a family of 3 to a larger family of 4!

Max has been super involved in helping me do some artwork for the walls, and Gabe works hard on the nursery after working all day at the Sawmill.

I feel so blessed to have these two men in my life, and I know they are going to spoil our sweet new addition when she arrives!

Fourth of July...

2011-07-08T10:36:00.003-04:00

For the 4th of July weekend we decided to camp with family at Boggs Lake, and even celebrated our 1 year anniversary while we were there! Being 34 weeks pregnant slowed me down a little - but it was nice to relax with family and watch my two boys have a BLAST on the water:)

By Monday - we were all completely wiped out and ready to head home for good, long showers!

Overload of cuteness...

2011-06-26T20:33:00.006-04:00

Max was in another wedding this weekend and it was just an overload of cuteness...he even got to walk the couple's cute dog down the aisle- check it out:)

Of course his mean old mom made him pose for some photos - I just couldn't help it!

I had to capture some of Max with his Papa GG - I think the pictures speak for themselves as far as how much these two love each other:)

And one more that shows the 3 generations of men:)

WonderLab

2011-06-26T20:16:00.004-04:00

We have made a summer to-do list (an idea I borrowed from some other blogs I read) and we got to check off one last week - "visit the WonderLab!" Max & I traveled to Bloomington with Jessica & baby Dailee to meet up with Lauren, who took us to Mama Bear's to eat and then to the WonderLab to play:) We had a yummy lunch, a funny diaper-changing incident with Dailee in downtown Bloomington, and then spent the afternoon exploring the WonderLab. Just one of our many adventures during the Summer of 2011:

Constant reminders...

2011-06-26T19:29:00.004-04:00

There are times when I have little patience with my sweet little boy. I get grumpy and tired...tired of telling Max to pick up his toys, tired of stepping on Legos or walking past his messy room. But this week as I walked around the house, I looked at those scattered toys with a different perspective - I started thinking of them as sweet reminders of his childhood. A childhood that is moving wayyyyyy too fast for this mama.

Reminders of giggles and laughs over silly games...

Reminders of pretend play with lots of imagination...

Reminders of dreams unseen and a future wide open...

It helps me remember that one day soon the world will be his to explore without me, and I will no longer see those constant reminders of a little boy who makes my heart sing. I will miss those scattered toys, his messy room, and picking up after him. And I'm going to spend the rest of the summer cherishing these constant reminders of Max's childhood.

2011-06-15T10:53:00.007-04:00

Last weekend I was so excited to inherit a new sister:) - Gabe's brother Caleb married his sweetie, Mallory Wagler. We had such a fun weekend with family and friends - I had my camera with me all weekend and snapped lots of photos. We even got one family picture taken...which is really rare lately - I think I've only been in a couple pictures since I got pregnant. With this pregnancy I've been so insecure - sorta hiding as much as I can. It's truly crazy how different my two pregnancies have been...and how my 30 year old body has handled this baby compared to how I carried Max at age 24. I began to show much sooner, my belly button popped out the minute I found out I was pregnant, my back has spasms often, I'm sore and so much more tired.

Max was the ring bearer and he had a blast all weekend - even getting to ride in a Hummer limo to the reception. He completely wore his tux out at the reception by playing football, running around like a wild-man, and even jumping in puddles at the end of the night (most of this I didn't even know about until much later)! Typical boy stuff - I just love that little man!

Max also had his last baseball game on Monday evening - and even though he was disappointed to lose in the 1st game of the tourney, he has learned so much this year and made some great friends along the way!

It has been a great start to our summer, and I'm excited to see how the rest of it unfolds!

Divorce

2011-05-24T20:07:00.005-04:00

(Max 2008)

Some say I took the easy way out...

this is anything but easy.

Gil and I seperated when Max was only 2 years old.

Now he's 5 - and last night he broke down.

It was a normal night...we read a book, said our prayers, and laid down to fall asleep. And I started to hear Max whimper. It started out so softly that I thought I was only imagining it. But it quickly turned into full-blown sobbing.

I asked him what was wrong -

and my heart broke when he cried "I miss my Daddy!"

It caught me off guard because it's been so long since he has done this.

99% of the time Max is the most well-adjusted, happy, carefree little boy.

But I am often reminded that the choices that his father and I made are STILL affecting our sweet little boy every single day of his life.

Even if I don't see the effects all the time.

Even if I still feel this was the right choice for all of us.

Even if it still hurts.

No one should ever say divorce is the easy way out.

It's HARD and it's BRUTAL...and it's our reality.

Our hearts are still healing and probably always will be.

Preschool Graduate

2011-05-20T13:58:00.008-04:00

My little man is now a Preschool graduate! Holy moly - where did the time go? He makes me a super-proud mama and I just don't know where I would be right now without that little boy. There have been times in his little life that he was all I had and I was all he knew. This bond will never be broken...if I'm sure of anything in my life that is the truth I hold on to. He looked super sweet in his red cap & gown...and acted incredibly grown up as he led the pledge of alligence and sang songs on stage with his classmates. Here is a short clip of the program:

Max has some really close friends from his class...and this is him with his buddy, Aiden.

There is no doubt in my mind that Max is ready to kindergarten in August...the amount of progress he has made in the last few months of Preschool is really amazing! At the program they recited their ABC's, counted by 5's and 10's, said the days of the week and months of the year, and even memorized a few nursery rhymes.

When we got home, Max had a graduation present waiting for him - and he was so very excited about it!!! A NEW BIKE - without training wheels:) Of course we had to try it out right away!

Baseball season

2011-05-16T12:33:00.008-04:00

Max's baseball season is in full swing - we usually have 2 -3 games each week and I somehow got roped into keeping the book! It's been busy, but an easy-going type of busy which I love. Most of my evenings as a child were spent at the ball park in Odon, and getting back into that routine has been relaxing. Here are a few photos of my little man playing ball:

My "little" cousin Jessica had a sweet baby girl last week, her name is Dailee Jo Echavarria. We love her so much already and I just think she is the most precious little thing! We visited her in the hospital, but Max didn't get to meet her until yesterday, when we took them supper. He was so very excited and couldn't wait to hold her - I think he was practicing for his baby sister who is due in just 3 short months! I think baby Swartzentruber and Dailee Jo will be the best of friends and I can't wait to watch them grow up together!

Yesterday morning my cousin Chas's little man had his first communion, so we went to church with them and helped the family celebrate afterwards with lunch & cake:) He is such a big boy and growing up too fast...what a sweetheart! We just found out that Chas is expecting - so this already large family will be growing even larger!! We are very excited!

Later this week Max has his Odon Christian Church Preschool graduation - so be sure to check back later in the week for lots of pictures in his cap and gown:)

Odds and Ends

2011-04-21T11:57:00.007-04:00

Just had some random things I wanted to record here on the blog - not much has been going on with us. Max has started pee-wee baseball practice and is really into it this year. Tee-ball last year was a little slow for him, but getting to hit off the pitching machine is so much more fun for him:) Gabe (along with his brother and his dad) are helping coach this year and everything is going really well...two practices down, and another one tonight:)

Last weekend a wonderful family friend came to visit with her two little boys, who are 4 and 5 years old. Max was in heaven having other little boys to play with! Here is a picture of all 3 boys sitting on top of my Grandma Raber's freezer (where there are still some of her yummy goodies she used to make frozen away for us to enjoy later)...

And here is a great picture that my Aunt Gina snapped of me and Grandpa Raber:

A few days ago my brother Clay (Max's "Uncle Faye) played basketball against the Harlem Wizards at the Washington gym. We had a good time sitting with my cousin Chas and her family, and I even managed to get a picture of Max and Clay - these two are the best of buddies!
Ya know how they say that children are almost honest to a fault...well, Max was brutally honest with me one day this week! ha ha! We were in the kitchen and I turned around to get something out of the fridge, when Max says from behind me "Mom, your butt is getting pretty BIG!" Oh my goodness...well, gee, thanks Max. Just what I needed to hear...he's such a stinker! Speaking of the joys of pregnancy...my ankles have already started swelling - I'm afraid I'm in for a long summer! August just can't get here fast enough:)

Our little weekend away...

2011-04-05T13:34:00.006-04:00

This past weekend we took a little Spring Break trip to Indy, where we stayed at the Holiday Inn at the Pyramids (which has the waterpark inside). It was nice just to get away...just me, Gabe, and Max - and spoil Max a little since I feel like he's been a little abandoned thru my whole pregnancy because of me being so sick and such. So we let Max make most of the decisions...what to do each day, where to eat, etc. We ended up spending time each day at the waterpark, eating pizza and drinking pop alot, visiting the children's museum, watching two movies on a big screen at the hotel with free popcorn, and just playing at the arcade MULTIPLE times:)

We had such a great time, but I was so busy enjoying myself that I didn't take many pictures. I

did get a few that were cute, Max is in the navy blue/orange swim trunks:

I also haven't shared on here that last Wednesday we found out our little Swartzentruber baby is a GIRL! Max was hoping for a sister, so I was glad his wish came true:) We are so filled with joy about this little girl - we have been discussing names, looking at baby bedding, and my mom has been buying out all the pink outfits in any store within 30 miles:) Ha ha - we cannot wait to meet this sweet little one. I really think Max will be such an amazing big brother - can't wait to see him in action!

Speaking of Max - he informed me that although he wore his earplugs each day at the waterpark, he managed to get some water in his ears and now has a major ear infection. We are heading to the ear specialist tomorrow afternoon to see what can be done. He has had so much trouble with his ears - two sets of tubes and now holes in each ear drum (I think from the tubes falling out and the ear drum tissue not growing back together??). I just hate to see him suffer thru all these ear aches...it really is miserable for him! I'm sure the Dr. will get him all fixed up tomorrow and he will be back to his little happy self soon!

Childhood friends...

2011-03-23T14:08:00.011-04:00

Max has been going to the same babysitter since he was 3 months old. Now he is 5 and heading to kindergarten in August...but I hope he will always remember the friendships established at such an early age. Trinia Knepp is his babysitter - and I can't say enough about her and the way she has helped raise my little man. As a working mom, I have constantly worried about not being there for Max day in and day out, but I can honestly say Trinia has treated Max as one of her own. Max has found many, many friends at Trinia's. I have tried to get pictures here and there to share with him when he gets older, like one I snapped of him and a buddy Emma dressed as a little Amish couple (I didn't even recognize him when I got to Trinia's to pick him up)! The other day I happened to have my camera when I stopped to pick Max up, and all the kids were playing outside. I couldn't resist taking some snapshots for Max to look at when he gets older - because him and his friends will all be going to different schools in different towns. I hope they will reconnect one day and remember the "good old times." These kids are all so sweet and I know Max will really miss them when school starts!

Max, Landon, & Lydia in the sandbox

Max and best buddy Landon

Max and Lydia

Sweet Grant

I haven't shared any photos of our dog, Susie, since we got her several months ago. She has gone from little puppy to pretty huge in just a couple of months - her and Max are big buddies and will probably run around together all summer long!

I snapped this picture of Susie and our home as we were on a walk a couple of nights ago:) The weather change has made all the difference for me - I actually feel well enough to not be as whiny and even get my camera out and enjoy life a little:) By the way, one week from today we find out whether this little Swartzentruber baby is a boy or a girl - can't wait!!

Weekend Getaway

2011-03-21T13:30:00.005-04:00

It's so nice to get away sometimes - and this past weekend we headed to Greenwood/Southport in order to cheer on our ND Cougars! We went ahead up on Friday night to spend the night at a hotel, eat out at Joe's Crab Shack, and swim in the indoor pool:) My parents and my in-laws came along too, so we had a big family weekend which was so much fun!

On Saturday we all headed to the mall, where I got my needed shopping fix:) Then we went to the game and cheered on the Cougars! Even though we ended up losing, we still had such a great time and it was so nice to "get away" for a short weekend trip!

Now it's Monday and back to reality...but if I survive this week, next week is Spring Break:)!!

Kindergarten

2011-03-17T13:13:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow afternoon I will be walking into North Daviess Elementary School to sign my little man up for kindergarten. I really can't believe the time is already here - it can't be that the little tiny bundle I held in my arms 5 years ago is independent, strong, spunky, and ready for school. He already loves preschool and I'm not too worried about him transitioning into kindergarten, because he seems to really enjoy the school atmosphere and learning in general. Mommy will be much more upset about sending him then he will be about going. This weekend we are traveling to Southport to cheer on the Cougars in semi-state! Max is really excited about our Friday night stay in a hotel (where he will be able to swim)! It should be fun - I'm sure I will come home with lots of pictures to share.

One struggle we are having right now is keeping Max in his own bed at night. We have always kinda struggled with this, but it's gotten worse. Max has suddenly become extremely afraid of coyotes - which we can sometimes hear howling at night. He has heard Gabe talk about them, and then he also heard some at Nana and Papa's one night. He does go to sleep in his own bed as long as I'm laying down with him, but wakes up each night at around midnight and comes to our bed. When he climbs into our bed he wakes me and asks me questions, like "Can the coyotes get in our house, Mom?" or "Can the coyotes see in the windows?" Now he is terrified of the window in his room, so I promised to get him a curtain as soon as I go to Walmart next. If he just came in our bed and slept soundly - it would be no big deal. But he tosses, turns, kicks, etc.! This kid is a moving-machine while he sleeps! So in turn - Gabe and I get NO sleep:( O well, I keep telling myself that it won't last forever - soon Max will be 'too cool' to sleep with his mom and won't want to have anything to do with me. Right now I just need to cherish the cuddle time I can still steal with him:)

The pregnancy is going well right now - I am 18 weeks and feeling alot better than before. I won't say the sickness has completely gone away - but I am definantely improved. Although the Dr. says I still have not gained any weight, there is a definate 'baby bump' now and I'm feeling more hungry than before. The last few weeks I have been on a slushie kick - so everytime I pass a gas station or Dairy Queen I MUST stop and get a red slushie. Wierd - but it just seems to hit the spot:) Only two weeks until we find out if this Swartzentruber baby will be a boy or a girl - I'm excited to finally know and begin talking about names and buying pink or blue baby stuff!

Losing my grandma...

2011-02-25T14:28:00.007-05:00

Lillie Catherine "Cassie" Raber

All my life I have believed that everyone goes through both highs and lows in life...I've always encouraged others to praise God during whatever storm they might be facing. I have believed in myself as a "good Christian" because I never had any reason to doubt in my God, never been low enough to doubt my ability to get back up.

Next week I will turn 30, and I can honestly say that I've had an exceptional life. There have been very few disappointments, not many times when I've been truly alone, never moments when I've felt significantly disconnected to God. I almost felt immune to true sickness, immortality, heartbreak. Things were sailing along pretty darn good for 29 straight years.

The last few months have torn me apart. Most people will doubt the severity of the sickness I've dealt with during this pregnancy. I won't ever be able to put into words how enduring this time in my life has changed me. I believe I not only had severe all-day, round the clock "morning sickness," but also dealt with a deep depression that came along with the pregnancy hormones. Never again do I want to be that low. But I don't know if any of this compares to the news I received on Sunday evening.

I had just sat down to begin a brand-new journal for this little bean in my belly, the first time I felt well enough to sit down and write down my thoughts for this new baby. I kept a journal the whole time I was pregnant with Max, and wanted to do the same for this baby. I had just penned the first line in my new journal when the phone rang. Gabe answered, but I could hear my mom sobbing on the other end - my heart stopped. I dropped my pen and tried to make out her words.

"Hurry..........grandma........CPR........doesn't look good."

Gabe hung up and told me to get my coat, we needed to go to the hospital because something was wrong with my grandma (My dad's mom). I grabbed Max and my purse, we jumped in the car and Gabe sped to Washington. All the way there I sobbed, crying out to God to save her, let me see her one more time, praying like I've never prayed before. But as I prayed I knew. I knew she was gone. I could feel in my heart that my sweet grandma wasn't here on Earth with us anymore.

When we got to the emergency room they immediately led our whole family (all the sons, daughters, and grandchildren were there) to the chapel and we all knew. I can't explain the next hour or so, but I will tell you that the devastation and despair was beyond anything we had ever felt before.

I guess I should tell you that our family is closer than most.

I guess I should tell you that we met every single Saturday at my grandma's house for family dinner, where she always prepared a feast as if each Saturday was Christmas day.

I guess I should also let you know that Max was "Grandma GG's" only great grandchild, and her pride and joy.

I should tell you I spent countless days with my grandma, her teaching me to cook, showing me how to sew blankets, getting off the bus at her house, and just sitting and talking to her.
And finally, I guess I should tell you that my grandma was the glue that held our family together.

And in one instant - with no warning or indication - God called her home. We had no time to say goodbye. I never knew that when I left her house on Saturday I would never feel her kiss my forehead again...I would never watch her brush her long white hair before pinning it back and replacing her covering...I would never taste her church cookies again or watch her bake my favorite pie. I will never again hear her tell me she loves me. And my heart is shattered.

This week was a blur with the two days for the viewing, the funeral and burial yesterday. We (the 6 grandchildren) shared our favorite memories of Grandma at the funeral - so hard to do but I'm so glad we did. It felt like our last gift to her.

Grandpa is now alone at the home he shared with my grandma, who he was married to for 64 years. It doesn't feel real - that she is not at home making cookies or picking up the phone to call me and ask what Max is doing.

But one thing does feel very real - and that is the embrace of Jesus. My family has cried so many tears, we have fallen down and picked each other up, and we have trusted in our Savior. We have prayed over grandma and sang to her...and Jesus has NEVER left our sides. The important lesson I've learned is that while on this earth we will all face trials. We might go years having smooth sailing in life...but at some point we have to come to the realization that we are not in control but Jesus is.

John 16:33

"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."

John 14:27

"I'm leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. And the peace that I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled, don't be afraid."

These two verses have given me so much comfort over the last few days. The first one reminds me that he has already won the battle - we don't have to fight.

The second one gives me hope that God can give me peace of mind NO MATTER WHAT. Even when I'm missing my grandma so much it physically hurts, he will calm my heart and let me not be afraid of tomorrow.

These are the words I am leaning on...and making it thru because of prayers from family and friends. God never said life would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it.

Love you so much, Grandma!

Kindness...

2011-02-09T13:33:00.002-05:00

This morning after I dropped Max off in Loogootee, I stopped at McDonald's for a strawberry and banana smoothie before work. When I got up to the window to pay, the cashier told me that the man in the truck in front of me paid for my smoothie. I didn't know what to say. When kindness smacks you right between the eyes out of nowhere...it leaves you speechless.
And as I was processing this, very quietly in the background I heard "Jesus loves you....Jesus loves you..." coming from the radio. I had turned it to a Christian station (which I don't usually have my radio set on). I knew God was sending me a message.
Even through my foul moods, my morning sickness, my whining and my exhaustion - God reached through all of that and touched my heart. He reminded me that kindness can be very small and random, or it can be huge and overwhelming. He reminded me that people who care can make all the difference. He nudged me to overcome my attitude and feel his presence again.

All this from a thoughtful guy in the McDonald's drive-thru this morning...
Thank you would not be near enough...

2011-02-07T15:21:00.002-05:00

Rough, rough, rough...still feeling rough.
Most of you know I had to make a trip to the hospital last week for fluids due to dehydration.
Gosh, I'm tired.

But happy to read this in my daily devotional email today:

I'm leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart.
And the peace that I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives.
So don't be troubled, don't be afraid.
John 14:27 LB

I have to work on a daily basis to rid my heart of this fear. Fear for my little peanut in my belly. Fear about neglecting Max while I've been so sick. Fear that my husband is going to get tired of taking care of me and just decide to walk out. Fear that my house will never be clean again. Fear that I will have to go back to the hospital because I am so very sick. Fear has taken over. But God's words are pushing out that fear...comforting me when there is nothing I need more. I WILL get through this. People have done it before me and they will continue to do it after my sweet little baby bean has entered this world and all this is a distant memory.

Changes...

2011-01-14T13:05:00.009-05:00

Wow- have things changed! As I look back at my November & December posts about being so happy, content, and just all around settled. Funny how finding out I was pregnant turned my world upside down! We had hoped and prayed for this, and are very excited to add a new little one into our family, no matter how rough the road. I don't want to ever sound ungrateful for this pregnancy, because God has blessed me beyond measure...but oh how life has changed.

I had forgotten just how debilitating pregnancy sickness can be. Life has pretty much come to a standstill for me - I can't eat much of anything, I don't sleep at all, it is extremely hard for me to be the mother I want to be for Max, the house sits unclean, the laundry stacks up - I'm just stuck. Sitting in the house counting the minutes until one day is over and the next begins, only feeling hopeless about a new day starting. Because I will feel the same- sick. So sick that at most given moments I'm just trying to hold the gagging back in my throat. So sick that it is hard for me to read to my little boy each evening before bed. My whole body trembles constantly in pain and fear.

Feeling like this is so isolating...I can't really go out and do ANYTHING, interact with anyone, and my poor husband and son are stuck to deal with me. I am hoping it begins to ease within the next few weeks (as my first trimester ends), but am not getting my hopes up. I realize that some people will be offended by this post, that I'm complaining when God has blessed me with a baby. Please understand that I am only stating how I feel at this moment - and I know there will be times during this pregnancy that my heart leaps for joy and I won't be able to contain my excitment:) I just keep reminding myself to praise God thru this storm...I would have NOTHING without HIM.

Ok - to rewind a bit, I want to get caught up on the end of December & early January with photos! On New Year's Eve we ended up having my mom & dad, and my two cousins with their significant others over to celebrate, since I knew I wouldn't be getting out and doing anything. We had a really great meal (thanks Jessica) and then played the Wii for awhile, ended the evening with lots of laughs and 4 empty bottles of sparkling grape juice:) Earlier this week I was able to drag myself out of the house to take Max to Jasper to watch the Harlem Globetrotters - it was super cute and Max thought it was the funniest thing ever:) We had a nice evening with Gabe's parents & sister & brother-in-law and it was good to get out among other people - here are a few photos from that night:

Thanks for listening...and sorry about the whining! haha!

2010-12-27T17:08:00.001-05:00

I saw this on another blog and thought it was the sweetest rendition of the Christmas story I've ever seen:)

5th Annual Christmas Cookie Decorating Party...

2010-12-20T19:34:00.008-05:00

Last night we headed to Washington to participate in our annual Christmas cookie decorating party at my cousin Chas's house - it is so cute to see how much the kids grow from year to year...

2007 2008

2010

Max had a really great time with all the kids (he is used to playing by himself)...and the mama's had an awesome time getting caught up and just laughing about silly things:) Thanks Mom, Chas, & Steph! We ended the night with yummy Fat Boy's pizza and took home a tin full of cookies with oodles of sprinkles on them:) Here are some photos of our fun night -

Somehow I missed getting an individual photo of Nick and Katie - sorry guys:(

Of course we had to get the only 2 boys to do some posing in front of the tree - they are pretty sweet if I do say so myself:) Merry Christmas!

Christmas cheer...

2010-12-12T18:08:00.004-05:00

Talk about some Christmas cheer - these two boys are full of it:) This is Max and one of his best buddies, Lincoln.

The annual Christmas party at my Grandma's for the Farley side of the family was yesterday - so nice to be with family and catch up with what is going on in everyone's lives. Before we left, Papa was teasing Max about Santa being at the party (every year someone dresses up as Santa and pays a visit to the party) and Max just looked at him like he was crazy. He said "PAPA - it's just Nick dressed up as Santa!" He has it all figured out - and he just looked at Papa like he was the craziest person alive:) I love that little boy - too smart for his own good.

Max with my cousin Jessica, who found out on Friday that she is having a little baby girl - we couldn't be more excited:) She will be a wonderful mama!!

Tonight we are getting our first significant snow - I'm lovin' sitting in our cozy home, looking out the big picture windows at the huge snowflakes and watching our Christmas tree lights reflecting off the glass. All presents are bought and wrapped, sitting under the tree. Merry Christmas, everyone:)!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2010-12-04T19:14:00.011-05:00

It's only the 4th day of December, but our month has started out so peacefully. I've just been taking time to enjoy the birth month of our King, my new hubby, and my amazing little son.

Today we had our first real snow of the season, so Max thought he needed to go out on the porch and write his name - so sweet!Earlier in the week, Uncle Clay invited us over to make some "Auntie Ann" pretzels from a make-it-at-home kit. Max thinks Uncle Clay hung the moon - and jumps at any chance to hang out with him. He wants to wear what his uncle wears, fix his hair like his uncle, and even wants to be a teacher one day like his Uncle Clay.Tonight we are snuggled up in our favorite chair, admiring our Christmas tree and watching Scooby Doo...it doesn't get any better than this:)

Max's 1st Thanksgiving Program

2010-11-25T10:09:00.006-05:00

Max goes to preschool at our church, Odon Christian Church - he absolutely LOVES it and is excited to go each Tuesday and Thursday! Last Sunday he had his first program with his preschool class, and I videotaped a lot of it. Here is my little ham, reciting some Bible verses. I was so incredibly proud of him, he knew all the words to the verses and songs, and all the motions:) He was not nervous at all, and had his famous grin on his face the whole time!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone:)!! We all have so much to be thankful for!

Day of shopping...

2010-11-21T08:15:00.009-05:00

Friday after school we headed to Edinburg, In. with Gabe's mom, dad, and little brother to do some Christmas shopping at the outlet malls they have there. When you have two little boys in a hotel - what is the first thing they want to do? SWIM!! So we let them splash around in the pool for awhile, Gabe brought us Arbys for supper, and then it was time to settle down for bed.

Must-do List for a Hotel Stay:

#1: Jump on the beds, and from bed-to-bed!!

#2: Eat chocolate in bed...

#3: Wake up at 5:45 a.m. because you are just soooo excited...

there is no sleeping in for me, EVER:(

The next day we TRIED to go shopping - but the boys had different ideas. They decided to whine, cry, beg, fight, - do I even need to go on? Anyway, I did end up getting some shopping done and I'm now about 1/2 way done with Christmas shopping. The boys wanted to buy these:

but we made an executive decision that the world was just not ready for these two boys and their silly hats!

Best purchase of the day? Cracker Barrel Buttermilk Pancake Mix - which I put to good use tonight for our yummy supper:) Hope everyone has an AMAZING Thanksgiving week!

Max is 5 today!!!!!

2010-11-09T08:51:00.012-05:00

Today is Max's 5th birthday - here is a photo I snapped this morning at breakfast:

I'm tellin' ya people, this kid has spunk! I love this little man so very much and can't believe it's been 5 years since I was in the hospital having him. He really makes my life worth living...such a sweet and gentle heart, with a HUGE imagination and so very playful! He loves to tease others (in a funny way) and listens to everything around him (and later repeats everything he hears). He's funny and sassy, with a smile that melts me everytime. Happy Birthday, sweet boy!

This past weekend we had a Lego themed birthday party for Max - which was a huge success! There were so many people packed in my house, lots of yummy food, and happiness all around:) We collected books that Max is going to donate to a local hospital for the children's floor (we will be doing that next Monday). Max also received some gifts and I think everyone had a great time! Here are some pictures from that night:

We feel so very blessed to be surrounded by family and friends who love Max so deeply! I was telling him how blessed he is because all of the people at his party love him so much and he said "I know, Mom, and we even got Cody to come:)" I thought this was so adorable - because Cody is my cousin and a very busy guy with working all the time and having his own band that travels. Max thought it was awesome that Cody even came!

As I was cleaning up on Sunday night, Max took all his money out of the cards and all his presents out of the bags - so I have no idea who got him what. If you were at the party - you probably won't be receiving a thank you card for the gift you brought because I'm totoally lost - but know that we truly appreciate each and every one of you and love you all so much!

Today Max is at preschool at the Odon Christian Church. This morning I told him we could go to the store and pick out a treat to take to school with him. His choices? Capri-Suns and Star Wars fruit snacks. I'm sure all the kids will enjoy that:) Happy 5th Birthday, Maxwell Carter Toy!

Enjoying Fall...

2010-10-19T17:43:00.016-04:00

Max has been busy enjoying this Fall weather and hanging out with friends and family! He will turn 5 in a few short weeks, and everyday I'm shocked at how big he is getting! His drawings are looking more like "real" drawings instead of scribbles...and is singing songs that he learns at Pre-school...and uses words like "motivation," "urgent," and "assertive."

As I type this, he is on a golfcart ride with his Papa Delbert. Here is a little insight into what he's been up to:

We are busy planning Max's 5th birthday party! Thank you for covering our family in prayers - we are doing really well and can feel all those prayers:) Love you all!

Actor's Studio Questions

2010-10-13T12:01:00.007-04:00

I love these questions (from inside the Actor's Studio on Bravo) and thought it would be fun to answer them on my blog. I got this idea from another blogger and just love it:) I hope you decide to do it too so that we can all learn more about each other:)

What is your favorite word? honey

What is your least favorite word? stupid (I'm constantly telling the kids at school not to say that word because " I really don't like that word!")

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? reading other blogs, and constructing my own posts for my blog...seeing inside other people's lives and how my life is alike or different

What turns you off? stinky smells and people who are rude

What sound or noise do you love? my son's belly laugh - that laugh when you know he is geniunely happy

What sound or noise do you hate? a fork scraping somebody's teeth when they are eating

What is your favorite thing to say when you get mad? "are you serious???"

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? photographer

What profession would you not like to do? nurse...I would die if someone puked on me or I saw blood!

If Heaven exists (I believe that it does), what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "My Child! I've been waiting for you!"

Ok, that was fun - now on to a VERY serious matter...Max is going on his very first fieldtrip tomorrow. On a bus. To an alpacha farm. My little man. I'm in shock! I'll update you on how that goes:)

Here we go again...

2010-10-13T09:31:00.007-04:00

not sure if I'll ever learn...

but I continuly make plans for my own life. Trusting in those plans, organizing my life around those plans, getting my hopes up and leaving no room for failure...

and I leave God out of the equation.

My Creator, my Savior...how can I even begin to make my own plans?

Why would I try to make plans for my life when He has a GREATER plan than I could ever (in a million years) come up with on my own.

You would have thought I would have caught on the first couple of times...

...but here I am. Disappointed and heartbroken. Why?

Because MY PLAN is not HIS PLAN. And until those two things line up, I will continue to be disappointed. Pray for me and my family - and for my total and complete surrender to God's plan.

Girl Party

2010-10-10T17:21:00.009-04:00

We met on Friday night for a girl party...

We ate junk food, caught up with each other's lives, and loved on each other's kids...

We played games ( I won't mention who won the first two:) ha ha...

We couldn't help but start laughing...and I mean "pee-your-pants" laughing...

What a priceless night!! Friends make life so much more fun:)!!

Max and I roughing it on our own...

2010-10-02T16:46:00.013-04:00

Last night Gabe was was on a hunting trip, so Max and I were roughing it on our own. Here is how our night went:

9 p.m. - Max was overly tired, and ended up gagging and puking all over the floor because he was crying so hard over nothing at all.

9:02 p.m. - I'm cleaning puke off the floor

9:15 p.m. - Raylene (Gabe's mom) brought us our new puppy, a labradoodle. We named her Susie (after my mom's best friend who passed away a few years ago). She is a cutie, very playful and social. But it was her first night in the house, first night of potty training, etc.

9:25 p.m. - Susie peed on the floor and I cleaned it up

9:27 p.m. - As I'm cleaning up the pee I see Susie start to poop on the floor!! So I move on to cleaning up poop off the floor.

9:35 p.m. - We put Susie in the bathtub because she stinks like CRAZY!!!!

9:45 p.m. - I mop all the hardwood floors before heading to bed.

10:00 p.m. - We put Susie in her crate in the laundry room and she was very good all night...so we got some much needed sleep!:)

8 a.m. Sat. morning - we woke up and checked on Susie...who had pooped all over her crate, rolled in it, and smeared it all over everything. So it was back in the bathtub for Susie.

While we were giving Susie her second bath, Max sighed an

d said "Mom, it's HARD having a puppy!" I had to agree.

9 a.m. - Susie pooped in Max's room, but I cleaned it up before he could see it.

10 a.m. - We decided to put the puppy in the garage...I had HAD it!

So now we have a kitten and a new puppy in our new house - craziness! ha ha! But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

Stained glass windows...

2010-09-02T08:58:00.006-04:00

I wish I would have taken a picture last night when I got home from my Master's class - Gabe had taken Max home for a bath and to settle him down for bed. When I walked in the door they were snuggled into our new chair in the living room, watching TV...so comfortable, clean, and snuggly. My heart could not be more filled with joy at this sight...

It made me think back to something Richard mentioned at church on Sunday. He was talking about people being broken. Being so emotionally upset, worn out, exasperated...just broken before God. But then he asked us to look at the stained glass window to his left. Look at the mosiac pattern - do you know how they had to make this window? It was all these tiny broken pieces of glass that they stained different colors and put back together - to make a breath-takingly beautiful pattern.

When we are shattered, broken people, God comes into our lives and picks up the broken pieces, adds color and meaning to each piece...he puts us all back together in a new way we never would have thought of and we become a new and beautiful individual.

I believe I had to be completely broken in order to be who I am today, in order to stop and appreciate the little things like my son and the amazing father figure he now has in his life snuggled up and loving each other. I had to be in my darkest days, I had to suffer the heartache, I had to surrender everything to Him so that I can revel in sunny days like this. So I can look inside myself and find change for the good, see meaning in the small things...

To my little man...

2010-08-27T14:22:00.004-04:00

Maxwell Carter,
When I saw this quote in a book that Nana gave me several years ago about a mother and their child, I could not help but share it with you here, on my blog. I hope that one day you will read these words and know just how much I love you.

I wish for you warmth,
when it is cold outside.

I wish for you a star,
when the night is dark.

I wish for you courage,
when the world is afraid.

When I think of you, I wish for you
and I hope you know -
that here, there is a heart
and a home;
and here, there is someone
who loves you
more than any wish could ever give.

(Quote by Laura West Rosenthal)

May all your wishes come true...

Love,
Mommy

Finally HOME...

2010-08-25T09:53:00.004-04:00

I feel like every dream I've ever had has come true...I have an amazing husband who I am madly in love with, a little boy who makes my heart sing, and we finally have our own home:) Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying my life is perfect, but I feel blessed beyond belief! I think that everything I have gone through has made me appreciate this time in my life even more! Here are a few pictures of our brand-new home:

View from the outside
Our living room

Gabe and I's bedroom
Max's bedroom

Our kitchen...still have to get some island stools, but you get the idea:)

We are settling in and getting used to our new home. Each evening we have two baby deer who come into the background to munch on clover. They are no longer scared of us...just curious. Max is absolutley loving his new bedroom and spends most of his time in there. It is adjustment for him to sleep on his own, but he's been doing a great job. I lay down with him each night until he falls asleep, then head to my bed. He will wake me up 1 to 2 times during the night and I go back in his room to lay down with him again until he falls asleep. It's been a lot easier than I thought it would be, so I'm not going to complain:)

Max has also started Preschool at Odon Christian Church and loves going twice a week! The teachers keep telling me that I have the most well-behaved little boy and that he does great with the other children. Last night as we laid in bed he started singing a song he learned yesterday at school - he really seems to enjoy learning, like his Mama!

Ok - that's enough updates for now! Hope everyone is having a great week!

Slowly recovering...

2010-08-08T19:31:00.005-04:00

Last Wednesday Max had his tonsils and adenoids taken out at the Jasper Hospital. It was such a hard day for both of us, Gabe was the only one calm and collected (he had to take care of both of us). Any time a mother has to see her child in pain it is just incredibly hard! Max is a brave little boy, but surgery was a daunting idea for him. We were at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. - got registered and watched some cartoons. My great Uncle Gerald came to pray over Max, and ended up staying the entire time to support us! God is so good!

Max completely freaked about taking the medicine that would make him drowsy, because he knew if he went to sleep it would be time for surgery. But after that drama was over - he became very loopy and just plain funny:) At one point he asked me what this one speaker was on the wall (which had a few buttons next to it). I told him it was probably to call the nurse in case we needed something. With his words slurring, he said "I'm gonna press one of those buttons and tell them to cancel surgery!" It was super cute, especially with the funny grin on his face! He also became enthralled with the idea of warming the hospital blankets in the "oven," but that is a whole other story:) Ha ha!

Waking up for him was really horrible - he was confused, in pain, and agitated! They came to get me so I could calm him down - his first request was to go home and his second request was for Gabe. So sweet...

This is his 3rd surgery, the first 2 being on his ears. They also checked his ears during this surgery and found big holes in both eardrums. He will have to have surgery when he is 6 years old to repair these - the doc thinks the holes did not close up after his tubes fell out, and then because of the severity of his ear infections when he was young, the blood flow was not sufficient and began to tear even more. So this is not his last surgery as a child, and we are not happy about that - to say the least:(

My grandma Raber called the day after surgery and really lined me out for being so down and out about Max - she reminded me that lots of children go through much worse things...and she is right! This was only minor, and I'm thankful that God watched over my sweet son! He is slowly getting better, but there are moments when he is still in alot of pain. I just try to keep the medicine in him and keep him comfortable...but tomorrow is our last day of summer vacation and I will have to leave him on Tuesday. I'm not looking forward to that day:(

In church this morning we sang a song that I'm sure a lot of you have heard, but it washed over me and made me feel a calm assurance that Max WILL get better and God is always with us! Here are the lyrics that spoke to my heart:

All is well with my soul,

He is God in control...

I know not all his plans,

but I know, I'm in His hands.

I hope all is well with your soul this evening - love you all!

2010-08-03T12:37:00.008-04:00

We have been spending most evenings at our home-in-progress, doing little things that will mean alot to us later (cause our own sweat and tears went into it). Last night we were putting a coat of polyurethane on the cathedral ceiling, which is covered in coffetree wood that Gabe cut in his sawmill, planed, and tongue-in-grooved - here is a picture of his pride and joy:

Here are a few more pictures from what has been done lately at the house:

Master bedroom and bath
Exterior with fireplace

Last night while we were working on the ceiling, we had lots of visitors and helpers:) At one point Gabe's aunt and uncle, Teresa and Nelson came to check things out. Teresa and I were standing in the garage talking, and she told me a story that really made me change my perspective on things. She was telling me about a friend that traveled to Belize on a mission trip. A little boy came up to her friend and tugged on his jeans, getting his attention for a few questions he had. The little boy asked if the man was rich. The man answered that it depends on what you consider rich. Here was the boy's response:

"Do you own a car?"

The man: "yes"

"Do you own two cars?"

The man: "yes"

"Then you are rich. Is it true that people in America build houses for their cars?"

The man was speechless, not sure how to respond.

So here I am standing in my brand-new garage, embarrassed to admit some of my actions lately.

I complain because it will be another week before we can move in, while others beg God for a shelter to sleep under tonight.

I think to myself that I need to call and get another layer of rock on the driveway, while others walk miles with bare feet to get water for the day.

I write down measurements for a mattress in Max's room, while others lay on dirt floors with no covers to keep them warm or no pillows to rest their heads.

I complain about the money I have had to spend on light fixtures and bulbs, while others have never had electricity in their home.

I whine because it seems to hot to work on our deck, while others look out their windows to a view of run-down shacks, starving children, and human desperation.

I ask God to forgive me for complaining, whining, worrying, and being unappreciative. I have everything I need and more - and one day when it is time for me to leave this world, THINGS will mean NOTHING. I'm so glad my perspective has changed - from one little boy's sweet questions about America.

“I would rather be able to appreciate things I can not have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Making Applesauce...

2010-07-17T18:29:00.006-04:00

Me, Clay, and Max went over to my Grandma's one day this week and helped her make homemade applesauce - it is AMAZING, then again, anything she makes is amazing!!

New Home

2010-07-17T14:08:00.006-04:00

Our house is coming along...Gabe told me today that our builder said we should be moving in in 2 weeks (but based on his other predictions in the past, it will probably be 3 weeks)!! Ha ha! I knew it would fall right at the time that I was going back to school - we go back on Aug. 10th...so I will be going back to school, getting Max into a new routine, and moving into a brand-new house:) I'm so excited, but it will be hectic!

Gabe has been working incredibly hard to get this house just perfect. He is planing all the wood for the cathedral ceilings, then tongue and grooving each piece. Here are a few pictures of Gabe and his Grandpa working so hard in this heat:

Bob and Elisha even got in on the action:) I really appreciate everything being done to make our house a home:)!!

Honeymoon fun!

2010-07-17T11:24:00.007-04:00

The rest of our wedding weekend we spent time with our family lounging by the pool, visiting the waterpark, go-cart racing, bowling, eating out, watching fireworks, etc. Here are some of the photos taken over the weekend - we could not have had any more fun than we did:) I will always cherish this time with our family!!

Wedding - July 4th, 2010

2010-07-17T10:46:00.009-04:00

On July 4th, 2010 we had a beautiful, small, and simple wedding at the French Lick Springs Resort. I married my dream man...and my little boy even walked me down the aisle! We had such a magical day and I will never forget the excitement and happiness I felt that day. Max and I walking down the huge set of steps behind the resort:

And then we had the most precious ceremony, with a sweet old man named Bob Turner - who made the ceremony so personal and special for us!

We celebrated by having a huge brunch at the Grande Colannde (the waffles were AMAZING) and some yummy cake for dessert!

After brunch we snapped some photos -

Can you believe it - I'm now Mrs. Swartzentruber!!! I'm lovin' the sound of that:)!

Small update...

2010-07-07T19:58:00.005-04:00

We had an AMAZING weekend/beginning of the week - and I promise to update with pictures of the wedding soon...

but for now I'll leave you with a photo of me and my new hubby enjoying our honeymoon:)

To Maxwell (aka Bubblecakes, Monster-butt, Pooda)

2010-07-02T16:51:00.005-04:00

I snuggle up closer and and bury my nose in your freshly washed hair...it smells faintly of coconut and is soft against my cheek. Each night one of your arms is intertwined with mine, while the other is wrapped tightly around teddy. I hear your breathing grow steady and I know you've fallen into a deep sleep. It's been 2 years with just the two of us...we were all the other had. Each night we've cuddled up together and said our prayers, wrapped our blankets around us and stayed hidden from the cares of the world.

And when I awaken each morning, there you are. Like sunshine coming in thru an open window - with a smile big enough to light up the midnight sky. No matter what dream I had dreamt, no matter how much I'd tossed and turned...waking up to your face made me let go of it all...let go of it all and grin back at you.

A new adventure is beginning for us this weekend -

You will walk me down the aisle, not to give me away...

but to join hands with Gabe and I and create our family. Yes, things will change, but only for the better. And although it will be hard for your Mama to let go a little,

give you your own room and your own space...we will be exactly where we are meant to be.

You are my heart and soul...love you, bubba!

6 days and counting:)

2010-06-29T10:35:00.005-04:00

Our wedding is this weekend and to say we are all excited would be an understatement....I'm soooo ready:) I've been doing last minute things for that this week - and we are leaving for French Lick on Sat. morning!

This past weekend we worked on the house - we had to stain the foundation of the deck before they built the rest of it. Here are a few pictures of us working hard in the heat!!

Everything is moving so fast and the summer is flying by...wish it would slow down just a little:) After the weekend I will be posting wedding photos - I can't wait:)!! Stay tuned...

Master's Degree

2010-06-14T10:21:00.003-04:00

I would really appreciate it if you could stop by my new website at www.stopschoolconsolidation.ning.com and become a member! It will help me out so very much - and I would love to hear your thoughts on school consolidation. I am creating my final project on my opposition to school consolidation - I believe in small schools:) Thanks for all your help!

Trophy for Teeball

2010-06-12T21:57:00.008-04:00

Max is extremely proud of this trophy he got after his last teeball game - here he is receiving his trophy from his coach, Jason.

Max has been acting like such a little man lately - saying all kinds of funny things. The other day he told his Uncle Clay that he was "going to do some computations on the computer." I have no clue where he came up with that!

The other day Gabe was helping him build a Lego ship...and Max looked at him and said "I was gonna help you build, Gabe, but I'm just so impressed with your building. I don't think I need to help because I'm just so impressed." This boy is such a joy...I'm always kissing on him and my brothers tell me to stop bugging him - but I can't help it! I know I won't be able to kiss on him for much longer:(

Things are changing fast around here...only a few weeks until the wedding & our house is changing every day! Here are a few updated pictures!

Hope everyone gets some good rest tonight - tomorrow is going to be another beautiful (but HOT) day!!

Gorgeous Wedding

2010-06-09T09:05:00.010-04:00

Good morning everyone - just wanted to drop in and update you on a few things. Max and I have been enjoying our summer and been busy with all kinds of wedding stuff:) Not mine, but Gabe's sister's wedding. I took A BUNCH of pictures and I wanted to put a little preview on here. The wedding was so gorgeous and the day was just magical -

Mr. & Mrs. Wagler are now honeymooning in the Dominican Republic - hope they are having an amazing time:) Well, gotta go - we are off to the ear specialist for Max! I'll update soon on the house because they have been working on it like crazy!

Summer 2010

2010-06-03T21:17:00.002-04:00

2010-05-31T16:50:00.003-04:00

BEST

DAY

EVER!!

Memorial Day Weekend

2010-05-29T22:04:00.005-04:00

The days have been flying by...the weather is so gorgeous and I just can't seem to sit here in front of the computer when it's so nice:) Lots of work is being done for our new house - here are a few pictures of the progress:

I love going over there every day on the golf cart and watching our cozy little home being built - there is already alot of love surrounding that house!!

My sweet little man is growing so fast...luckily the little spell with a bad attitude has come and gone. I have my big-hearted boy back and I'm so, so glad:) How could anyone resist this smile:

I'm so blessed to get to stay home with Max this summer - I cherish every second of it and pray

for those mommies who work so hard and don't get this kind of "break" to spend with their children. I love my job...and summer break is not too bad either:) Ha ha!!

I hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend - find time to relax and just enjoy your loved ones!

New location, new dress...marrying the same amazing man:)

2010-05-24T11:58:00.004-04:00

Lots of plans have changed - since the Opryland Hotel has cancelled events until December, we have moved our July 4th wedding to the French Lick Springs Resort. My wedding dress arrived from Ebay, and wasn't what I had pictured (going to resell it)...I went to David's Bridal and bought a new dress in 1 hour's time:) All the details are falling together, although most are last minute. We aren't worried - only opening our arms wide for the unexpected love we have found. Max is anxious as well - always asking how long till we all get married:)

Our house has been at a standstill - still only have the footers poured. Rain has slowed everything...along with a crew that isn't very motivated. Supposedly they will pour the walls tomorrow, but we have heard this same line several times. I'm not holding my breath.

I haven't been writing my thoughts down much - had a rough couple of weeks. For some reason Max was testing every limit with me. I don't know how many fits were thrown, how many tears were cried...I wouldn't even be able to count. His new favorite phrase was "If you don't let me do __________(insert anything that is remotely important to a 4 yr. old boy) then you can never be my mommy again...EVER!" Wow, that sure warms a mommy's heart (that phrase is dripping in sarcasm)...

I feel like I'm a pretty patient mother - but I was literally at my wits end. I finally sat him in time-out, had a LONG talk with him - and I think we've turned the corner. He's been acting so much better and seems to be on the right path. Scary to think this is only the beginning of our long talks about behavior!

Just a couple more days of school and then I'm off for the summer - so ready to relax, swim, work on our house, etc. Hope everyone is having a great week - I will try to update more often!

Sick day...

2010-05-13T15:44:00.006-04:00

Max is sick...again:( A few weeks ago he had strep throat, but the antibiotic did not kick it. So yesterday when we got to the Dr.'s office he had a 103 fever and had to receive a shot in each leg. Since then he has continued with his fever, laid on the couch watching cartoons, eaten next to nothing, puked because the medicine is upsetting his stomach, and drank several little bottles of gatorade that Gabe dropped off for him. At the moment he is snuggled up on the couch with his Uncle Clay...they are both fast asleep. I wish I could take this all away from him, he is terribly miserable. And it looks like I will be home again tomorrow from work (I always feel so incredibly guilty when I have to take a day off of work, but if I was at work I would feel so terribly guilty about leaving Max. Feels like I can't win sometimes.)

I haven't posted in a few weeks, so here is what we have been up to:

Max and Nick discussing the soccer game they were watching!

One of Max's newest little buddies:)

A big pile of onry boys!!

Max roasting a hotdog at our Mother's Day celebration...

Hope everyone has a great weekend! We will probably stick around home to try and get better:)!

Isn't looking good...

2010-05-07T10:50:00.006-04:00

It isn't looking good for our July 4th wedding at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, TN. Please be praying for the people in Nashville and the surrounding areas. It will take months and months to clean up and get back to "normal" life. What a horrible devestation! They need our prayers!

Tball Begins!

2010-05-02T19:51:00.003-04:00

Here is the Tball team heading to the parade...

Max is happy with his bucket of candy to throw to the spectators...

Then our big orange truck broke down before we made it to the parade...

But we got a new truck, and after throwing mom off of the truck - everyone finally got to throw out candy...

The parade is over...now LET'S PLAY BALL!!

GREAT video!

2010-04-30T10:17:00.008-04:00

A good friend sent me the link to this video - and I just CAN'T get over it. LOVE the message...you guys have to check it out:) You will have to go to the bottom of my page and pause the music on the playlist player, and then wait for the video to load...but I promise it is worth it!! Enjoy:)

Snuggly...

2010-04-29T11:50:00.008-04:00

This morning I picked Max up off the bed and he wrapped his arms & legs around me, so sweet and snuggly...I said "Awwwhhh...my warm (and snuggly) bubba!!"

He quickly answered back "Awwwhhh....my hot mama!"
I couldn't stop laughing, but he couldn't figure out what was so funny:)

Hope everyone is having an AMAZING Thursday!

Great book!

2010-04-27T19:49:00.003-04:00

"Yet she kept discovering in the places of deepest aloneness and emptiness the God who was with her, for her. She discovered Christ's presence from the inside out, seeing what He sees as He sees it. She now has a sense of what the world looks like from a cross. She knows the darkness of the inside of a grave. And she knows, more and more, the brightness of a new day when the world is glimpsed as from a tomb, its stone rolled away." -Mark Buchanan

This is only one of the many AMAZING quotes I've found in Angie Smith's new book, entitled I Will Carry You (she begins each chapter with a quote, and ends each with scripture). I'm sure most of you follow her blog, which is called Bring the Rain. I had pre-ordered the book from amazon.com and just received it last week! The first night I started reading it, I laid in bed and balled my eyes out...eventually having to make several trips to the bathroom for Kleenex. It's just touching...her way with words has a way of soothing your soul. You have GOT to read this book....seriously - what are you waiting for?? Go order it:)!!

My Life: Under Construction

2010-04-22T13:45:00.005-04:00

So lately I've felt like my whole life is under construction!

But one thing is under construction officially now - and that is our new home:)

It's taken so many months to get the deed for land, surveys completed, plans created, and money from the bank...but the time is finally here to begin building! I'm so very excited...it's a crazy feeling to watch each step...we visit our "spot" nightly. Yesterday they dug the footer and put down gravel for the crawl space. Today they are pouring concrete into the footers. My head

just spins when I think about how different my life will be in just a few short months.
My mom and dad have been lifesavers for Max and I. I have no clue what I would have done

without them - from the moment I stumbled out of my Washington house dumbfounded and scared, they took me in. They adjusted to a little boy being in the house all over again. They never asked for anything - only asked how they could help. I will never regret one single day I spent in my mom and dad's home...each day brought me more blessings and a stronger bond with them than ever before. With my mom. With my dad. With my brothers. With Max. I really cherish the time I've been there. But there are a few things that I'm looking forward to:

Having a closet (at this time Max and I have our clothes stacked along the perimeter of our room!)

Whirlpool tub (my personal favorite)

A t.v. (I NEVER, and I mean, NEVER get to watch my own shows because there is only 1 t.v. at mom and dad's...so it is either on cartoons, sports center, or American Idol).

Max having his own room...better yet - his own BED!!

Getting to decorate each room according to Gabe and I's style:)

No animals in the house bothering the heck out of me

An office where I can sit at a desk, close the door, and work on my Master's homework (only 5 more months!!)

Etc. (I could go on and on...)

Here is a picture of the progress so far...only the beginning stages - but that doesn't lessen the excitement:) Also...because I'm sure some of you are missing pics of my little man - here is one for you!

The first picturing is Max gardening, the second is my Uncle Jeff checking out our space, and the third is something Gabe did without me and Max knowing - little things like this are the reason this man has stolen my heart...

No, I have not forgotten about the whole voting on wedding stuff posts. I promise there is more on that to come! BUT.........you guessed it, I'm kinda busy at the moment:)!

Fresh Wound

2010-04-12T21:52:00.005-04:00

Tonight I write to you as a mother whose heart is aching...

as someone who would do anything to take away the pain in her son's eyes...

with tears streaming down my face I am trying to sort this out...

trying to find a way to make it all better.

Tonight I was giving Max his bath and he was acting up, so I got after him a little and he immediately started crying. I wrapped him up in a towel and held him while he sobbed. I don't mean just a normal cry, these were heart-wrenching sobs. The kind of cry that you realize something is going on much deeper. Something is tearing my sweet boy's heart apart.

I asked him what was wrong...and answered "I just love you so much, Mommy." I tried to comfort him and soothe him...telling him that I am here, always here.

As we settled into bed he continued to cry his little heart out...struggling to breath as the sobs wracked his body. I begged him to tell me what was making him cry...but I knew. I knew in my heart that this little boy was letting out emotions that he had been disguising for days...for months...for too long.

He misses his Daddy.

His Dad is off fighting his own demons...miles and miles away addressing some things that should have been confronted long ago. But this past weekend he was home and Max was able to visit him. When Max returned home on Sunday he explained that Daddy had given him something "special." It is a gold coin to hold...and his Daddy told him when he begins to miss him to hold it in his hand and talk to God - and God will tell Daddy what he says.

The crying continues until I ask Max if he wants his gold coin. With a slight nod, he acknowledges everything I had assumed. As soon as the coin is in his hand, his sobs become a whimper and he clinches it with everything he has. He silently sends his prayer up and begins to fall asleep. His heavy eyes close...and here I am. Left to unravel all that has transpired. It is twisted around me and I feel imprisoned...having no way to untangle myself or my sweet little man. Feeling like a failure for not having the words to explain or the touch to heal our broken hearts.

So I will lay down next to him...savoring the smell of his freshly washed hair, praying to my Savior that He will give me the strength to get up in the morning and put on a smile for my little one - so that I am able to show him it is another day and we will make it. We will overcome the tangled mess I've made of our lives.

Easter 2010

2010-04-06T15:22:00.015-04:00

We had such a great Easter...an inspiring sermon at church, so many family gatherings, amazing food, lots of rest - I just could not have asked for more. I have gotten my camera out again (during the winter months I'm so uninspired to break out my camera:)!! Got some great shots this weekend and it just makes me soooo excited for the warm weather. Warm weather = sunlight = amazing photos!

Max was real excited about the pictures, as you can see:)

My heart is soooo full these days...almost overflowing and I am rejoicing in this time of happiness. I know these times come and go (so I'm not taking a moment for granted), but God is so good and he ALWAYS takes care of us. Even in the darkest days.

Just wanted to share some of the pictures I took this weekend - hope you also had a great

Easter! Last night Max got a little carried away with all the Easter candy he recieved - ended up puking right before bedtime. Ohhhhh, the joys of childhood:) ha ha!

Larry, Gina, Janae, and Logan

The Raber family

Poss, Aunt Bea, and Cody

The whole gang on a 4-wheeler ride!

Gabe's cousin, Hannah, riding a pony named Babe

Janae helping Max find Easter eggs during the hunt!

Gabe's cousin's little boy, Jason - isn't he so cute?

My cousin Chas's sweet little man, Nick!

Lots of love, Abbie

Amazing story, Amazing faith...

2010-03-29T18:54:00.000-04:00

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Bored...

2010-03-28T21:19:00.007-04:00

Can you tell Max and I are bored? It's Sunday evening and here is what we've found to entertain ourselves:

Hope your having an equally exciting night:)

On to the most important part...shoes:)

2010-03-21T21:01:00.009-04:00

OK guys - thanks to you, I've now chosen my cake, flowers, and hair-do for our up-and-coming wedding!! Now on to the most important accessory - THE SHOES:) Are you up for another vote?

I've been going back and forth on this, but finally decided that you guys need to see my dress in order to pick out the shoes...it's ok - Gabe has already seen this picture, too:) I'm sure I'll look completely different in the dress then this tall blond:) ha ha!! The only difference will be the bow at her waist, instead of ivory, mine will be a deep purple. Here is a sneak peak of my dress:

Now on to the vote:

Things are moving along with the house - we should be hearing from the bank and the builder TODAY or tomorrow. - after the bank appraises the land we can start digging the basement! Max asked me tonight if we would have a house in 8 days...ha ha - not quite! But I know it will be here before we know it - and I'm having so much fun right now picking out paint colors and shopping for things to decorate here and there. I will only go through this experience once, so I figure I might as well have fun doing it!!

My heart is heavy...

2010-03-16T15:08:00.006-04:00

I had one of those moments today when I felt like I got kicked in the gut. Literally got the wind knocked out of me from one single, still image. And it was this: This is Andrea and her little boy, Ethan. Today on Facebook I saw this photo posted by several of her friends, because tomorrow marks 1 year since Andrea went to Heaven to be with Jesus. I didn't know Andrea very well (only worked with her VERY briefly at Stage one summer), but I will tell you something that is the absolute truth.

She has changed my life.

When I saw Andrea fighting cancer with everything inside of her...she changed me.

When I saw Andrea's big smile and heard about her upbeat attitude...she changed me.

When I hear about things she did and said to her son and husband...she changes me.

When I realize that her strength and courage lives on in her family and friends...she changes me.

When people drop everything to participate in Relay for Life because it was such a huge deal for her...she changes me.

When I see this photograph and tears stream down my face for the woman she was...she changes me.

When I see Ethan playing basketball with his little sweatband on and I try to imagine how much he misses his Mommy...she changes me.

She changes me as a woman, as a daughter, as a mother, as a friend,as a believer. I don't know about you, but tonight I am going home and hugging Max to me with all of my might. I am going to kiss him and tell him that I love him so. I am going to savor every single second I have with him...and everyone else that is important to me. Because none of us ever know how long we have here on Earth - and I will be content even if I only leave a fraction of the impact that Andrea did on this world.

If you do nothing else tonight - please do this: stop and say a prayer for sweet Ethan. And always remember to take NOTHING for granted. Not one, single breathe.

Hairstyles

2010-03-10T14:41:00.004-05:00

Cute story I wanted to share:

Remember that last weekend was Max's last YMCA Bball game, and today a co-worker who also had a son on the team told me something so cute that her son said (hope she doesn't mind if I share:)!!

Her son, we'll call him "C", said: "Mom, I really like Max!"

His mom replied "Oh, good C!" (we both thought this was funny cause they rarely even talked).

Then C says: "Yes, Max is my wild friend!"

When she told me I just started cracking up laughing - if there are any words to describe my son, one would definantely be WILD:) So funny!

*Update on the wedding cake:

Ok, so you guys have to help me here - I'm still completely torn about the wedding cake!!!! The vote was sooooo close (8 vs. 9) that I just can't decide! If you haven't voted - go back to that post and vote -PLEASE:) I need more help!

Now on to the hair style for the wedding! Yeah!!!! I'm so excited! I've found several styles I like...just keep in mind that my dress is very vintage looking - maybe that will help on your decision:) Here we go - tell me which one you like best (I'm probably not wearing a veil):

#2 #3 #4

Thanks for the help, guys, I know you won't lead me astray and make me look awful on my wedding day:) ha ha!

Hodge Podge

2010-03-03T14:43:00.009-05:00

Today I have a hodge-podge of things to share - hope you don't mind:)

Yesterday Max and I went to the dentist - it was Max's first visit. I was really nervous about how he would act, but he was just perfect and it opened my eyes to just how big he is getting. Growing up...it's happening before my eyes and I can't stop it, even though I think I would if I could. But the young man he is growing up to be makes me a proud mama. Not sure how it's happening...but pretty sure it has not much to do with me and alot to do with my Savior:) We both left the dentist with smiles on our faces, new toothbrushes, and no cavities:)!!Here is a picture of my sweet boy at the dentist, it's from my phone so it is not great...Also, wanted to share some things Max has said lately:

1. The other day Max was in the bathroom washing his hands, and was talking up a storm...even though he was in there alone. His Uncle Clay yelled from the living room "Max, who are you talking to in there?" Without hesitation Max answered "God!" It made me smile and I asked "What are you talking to God about, Max?" He said "Just talking." I hope he continues to talk to God as he grows:)

2. My family and I were sitting at the kitchen table eating supper one evening when my dad asked Max if he had taken a nap at the babysitters (Trinia's). Max said that he had. My mom said "Do you cry, kick, and scream when Trinia makes you take a nap, like you do here?" Max put his hands on his hips and said very calmly "GUYS - Trinia doesn't know I act like that!"

Hmmm....I guess the fits only happen with mama:)

Ok - time for another vote! This time I need your help with deciding on a wedding cake. Obviously, it will be a small cake because the wedding is only family - but it comes in the wedding package so I thought I would pick a cute, little cake. Which do you like better?

#1...

#2...

or #3...(with only the top 2 layers)

Honest opinions - let me have it:) Thanks guys - you are all making this so much more fun than it already is:)!!

Day by day...

2010-02-28T09:49:00.009-05:00

We've had an interesting few days - here's a recap:

Thursday: Gabe and I met with Stoll's Lumber in Odon to talk about building our new house:) Nothing could be more fun...picking out hardwood floor, looking at countertops, deciding on cabinetry...loved every minute of it. After our meeting Max and I went to sign him up for tee-ball. He's super excited and I can't wait to watch him play! Of course I just had the order the parent size team shirt for $12 extra dollars...I'm such a sucker!

Friday: Long day at work, came home and made tacos...just relaxed and played with Legos most of the night. Not anything too exciting...

Saturday: We got the chance to stop by my best friend's (Tera's ) new house...which was prettier than I ever could have ever imagined! It was really an awesome thing to see her dream become reality - she has been planning this house for a long time and I'm so proud of all the hard work her and Alex have put into it! The house is the perfect place for her two sweet girls to grow up in - Congrats guys!!

Then Max had another basketball game in Washington. As we were driving there, Gabe and I were giving Max some pointers - he looked at us and said "Guys, I have a COACH and SHE tells me what to do!" I thought that was so funny - I told Gabe that I guess that is his way of telling us to back off! Ha ha!

Once the game started I was shocked - it was as if Max was a new little basketball player. He hustled, he had his hands up guarding his man, he made several great passes, he dribbled, and he even SHOT THE BALL twice!!! He didn't make either shot - but for him to even shoot was something completely new! I don't know what happened - it was as if something just clicked and he understood the game of basketball!! I'm not saying he's the next Michael Jordan, but I am super, super proud of my little boy!!

After the game - Max and I were both feeling sick and I'll spare you the details...but let's just say we are both home sick today from church with a stomach bug. The only thing I hate worse than being sick is seeing my little boy sick:(!

SUNDAY: So our Sunday will be filled with movies, laying on the couch, snuggling, and sleeping. Hopefully we are all better for school/the babysitter tomorrow.

Ok - time for more wedding talk and a vote!! Here are two flower arrangements, vote for your favorite!! My dress is ivory with a deep purple ribbon around the waist. I need your input, so thanks so much!

Picture #1

Picture#2

Crazy busy...

2010-02-22T15:01:00.006-05:00

My life is complete and utter choas right now...........

AND I'M LOVIN' IT:)

I have a 4 year old who I could swear up and down

enjoys making my life difficult...but then he smiles at me and

I forget that he just cried for half an hour

because he didn't want to wear his winter coat.

Then there's this whole "getting my master's thing,"

which wears me out and stretches me thin.

Not to mention the whole wedding thing:) Nothing could make me

happier...the joy in my heart just doesn't stop. By the way...

we've set the date for July 4th.

And I ordered my wedding dress off of ebay a few nights ago...

split second decision...

gorgeous, perfection, voooiillllaaaa!!

And then there is the fact that we are going to try to build a house...

that will be ready when we come home from getting married.

Plans are set, busy picking things out...nothing has started...

maybe we are crazy.

But I wouldn't have it any other way...

Here's a little hint about where we are having our

tiny, cozy, family-only ceremony...

Any guesses? If you already know...no cheating;)!!

Going to the chapel...

2010-02-15T12:18:00.007-05:00

and we're gonna get MARRIED:) Gabe proposed on Saturday, Feb. 13th, 2010. We took a little weekend trip to Evansville, checked into our hotel, and I laid down for a little nap:) The next time I opened my eyes, there was an open ring box right in my face. Of course I said "yes," but Gabe's hands were shaking so bad he couldn't even put the ring on my finger:) That's what I love about him so much...such a tender heart and just a sweet man!!

After that, we went shopping at the mall, out to eat at O'Charley's (yum), went to the movies and watched "Dear John," then stopped at Coldstone for ice cream! I told Gabe he definately knows the way to my heart - a proposal, a chick flick, and ice cream:)
We told Max by getting him a build-a-bear and recording a message to put in it. When you press the paw of the bear, you hear my voice saying "Max, Gabe asked us to marry him!" and then Gabe says "What do you say, Max?" Max loved it and was excited - of course he said yes, too:)!! He absolutely ADORES Gabe and we are all soooo excited!! No date yet, but I'm sure I'll share it with you as soon as we know!

When I really think about it - it is kinda crazy...I started out this blog being a heart broken woman who had to write my feelings down instead of keeping them all in my heart. I knew if I did that I would soon break down...I needed this outlet and it always kept me going (with alot of help from my little man:) Now I'm writing on here in excitement about finding my prince...how things change so quickly. When I look back on my blog postings - it's amazing to see how time has changed me...how God has molded me. Of course I'm still a work in progress...but I am stronger and braver and happier than I ever thought I would be.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2010-02-11T19:50:00.000-05:00

YMCA Basketball 2010

2010-02-09T14:54:00.002-05:00

simple pleasures...

2010-02-08T12:42:00.002-05:00

a big bowl of piping hot soup on a snowy day...

folding the laundry, only to find a teeny, tiny pair of Superman undies that belong to the cutest little 4 yr. old I know...

an out-of-the-blue text message from Gabe, telling me how much he is missing me at that moment...

a drawing from a student that says "You are the best teacher I have ever saw..." (how cute are the words she chose?)

deep red fingernail polish on my nails, which are finally growing out once I kicked the habit of biting them (it only took me 18 or 19 yrs!!!)...

sitting on a soft, suede coach between my two loves, watching the Superbowl game...

sleeping in on snowdays with my little man curled up against me - knowing the day is empty and ready to be filled...

dreaming up houseplans for a little cozy home you can finally call your own...

***One of my favorite blogs had a "simple pleasures" post and I loved it, so here I am making my own:)

A basketball fool? Not so much...

2010-01-31T19:41:00.008-05:00

Is it normal that my child, during his very first basketball game, tapped his coach on the leg (she's pretty tall) and told her "I'm tired! Can I lay down on the sidelines?"

Probably not the most effective way to get on the coach's good side...

Words I needed to hear...

2010-01-26T19:19:00.005-05:00

Gabe and I have been taking a new class at our church that revolves around the book "The Smart Stepfamily" by Ron L. Deal on Wednesday evenings.

I have really struggled with coming to terms with being a "divorced" woman. It's embarrassing, it is heart-wrenching, and it is just plain hard to handle. Anyone who thinks it's been no big deal to me is dead wrong. Many have talked about me, confronted me with how they feel, and condemned me for preceding with the divorce.

As I was reading our lesson for this week from our smart stepfamilies book, I came across this paragraph and wanted to share. There might be someone out there in blog world that needs to hear this...or maybe I just need to hear it myself and see it written down in order to start healing my heart.

"The answer to the question 'How does God feel about me and my less-than-perfect family situation?' is this: God loves and forgives the imperfect people in stepfamilies the same way he loves and forgives the imperfect people in biological families. Furthermore, people in stepfamilies are not 'second-rate Christians,' simply because there is no such thing as a 'first-rate Christian.' We're all sinners and all less than perfect. All our families are less than ideal. And we all need a Savior." - p. 58 in "The Smart Stepfamily" by Ron L. Deal

Basketball

2010-01-24T19:45:00.005-05:00

My little man is playing basketball! He had his third basketball practice today and is getting much better:) After practice I was telling him that he did a great job playing defense (had his arms up and guarded his man) and he said "Mom, did I play as good as that Jordan guy?" I was trying to think if there was a little boy named Jordan on his team when he said "You know, Mom, the guy on my shoes!" Ohhhhh....he meant Michael Jordan:)! Here is a short video from his 2nd practice:

Art...

2010-01-21T15:39:00.006-05:00

When I saw this today on another blog, it INSPIRED me. To put my story out there...to create...to be myself even when everyone else laughs. I want to dedicate this post to my precious Susie - who we miss more than words can express and think about everytime we see the bright colors in this world. You were my one and only art teacher...my babysitter...my mom's best friend...and a beautiful, beautiful angel to us all.

Love you, Sus!

Sneak peek...

2010-01-13T21:15:00.007-05:00

A few days ago in the freezing temperatures and snow-covered ground,

I photographed a super-cute couple:) I just HAD to put a little sneak peek on

here for Alyssa, cause I know she is impatiently waiting for the edited photos...

I've edited several more, but wanted them to be a surprise -

hope you like them, Alyssa!!

Exercise

2010-01-08T16:11:00.007-05:00

We are on Snow Day #2 (which coincidentally followed very close behind Christmas vacation) and Max and I are getting a little stir crazy. Ok - I'm not really, I could stay home in my PJ's everyday for the rest of my life and not be bored. But my active 4 yr. old little man has a tad bit too much energy to just sit and relax like I do:)

We've resorted to exercise. Ok - maybe not so much me, but Max and Uncle Clay have. Here is my little man demonstrating his outstanding form while doing push-ups. His mother on the other hand, literally CAN NOT do even 1. No joke. But sssshhhhh...don't tell anyone:)

Finding peace...

2010-01-02T21:23:00.005-05:00

The last few weeks I have struggled with finding peace in my life.

Have you ever had that feeling? Just an uneasy...detached...hard-to-explain feeling? I'm not sure what is going on, but I do know that God is giving me this feeling for a reason. I'm in the process of soul-searching, Bible studying, deep listening, and heart following...

and it's not easy for me to be vulnerable and throw all this out there into "blog world"...

I'm just hoping you guys will cover me in prayer and help me find my way. Wait...not my way, but HIS. Thanks guys, I knew you would understand:)

Christmas 2009

2009-12-27T17:40:00.021-05:00

Our Christmas has been filled with joy...

excitement...

sugar...

wonderful friends...

close family...

Christmas cheer...

sweet memories...

and love overflowing...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!